| Section 2: Marriage Relationship Items |
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| 1. Conflict can be a doorway to deeper levels of emotional intimacy |
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| 2. I usually admit when I am wrong, readily asking for forgiveness from my spouse |
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| 3. We regularly have great conversations where we just talk as good friends |
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| 4. Spiritual growth is a high priority in our marriage |
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| 5. My spouse listens to what I have to say |
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| 6. We do a good job of managing our conflicts or disagreements |
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| 7. My spouse tells me that I’m good at caring about what he/she is feeling |
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| 8. Little arguments escalate into ugly fights with accusations, criticism, name calling, or bringing up past hurts |
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| 9. I am happy with our communication and feel my spouse understands me |
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| 10. When we have a problem to solve, it is like we are on opposite teams |
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| 11. My spouse tells me that I am a forgiving person |
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| 12. I feel loved and valued by my spouse |
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| 13. Praying together is an important part of our marriage |
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| 14. I honestly confront disagreements with my spouse, whatever the issue |
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| 15. When I get angry I am able to identify the source of my anger |
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| 16. My spouse criticizes or belittles my opinions, feelings, or desires |
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| 17. I can tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy expressions of anger |
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| 18. I can recognize and identify feelings in my spouse |
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| 19. I feel lonely in this relationship |
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| 20. At times when my spouse is very negative, I tend to say nothing or hide my feelings |
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| 21. I am afraid of my spouse’s anger |
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| 22. We spend some time every day together reading the Bible or some other type of spiritual book designed to help us grow stronger in our walk with the Lord |
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| 23. My spouse tells me that I’m a good listener |
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| 24. I think seriously about what it would be like to date or marry someone else |
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| 25. When we argue, one of us withdraws...that is, doesn’t want to talk about it anymore or leaves the scene |
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| 26. When I share complaints with my spouse, he/she usually defends him/herself or explains why and how the problem arose |
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| 27. We touch each other a lot |
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| 28. If I’m confused or don’t understand what my spouse is saying, I will ask a clarifying question |
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| 29. There is no such thing as healthy conflict |
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| 30. I hold back from telling my spouse what I really think and feel |
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| 31. I go out of my way to avoid conflict with my spouse |
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| 32. When we discuss an issue or problem, I usually summarize or repeat back what my spouse says to make sure I understand him/her correctly |
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| 33. Before responding to my spouse, I try to imagine how I would feel if I were in his/her place |
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| 34. My spouse seems to view my words or actions more negatively than I mean them to be |
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| 35. When we get angry we are able to deal with it in healthy ways |
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| 36. When our conversations threaten to boil over, we stop and take a time out |
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| 37. I feel included in my spouse’s life |
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| 38. I wish my spouse were more willing to share his/her feelings with me |
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| 39. When I see a glaring fault in my spouse, it’s hard for me to think about their strengths or positive qualities |
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| 40. My spouse and I regularly meet with a small group of believers for accountability and encouragement in our Christian walk |
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| 41. When my spouse is talking, I try to understand beyond the actual words, what he/she is really trying to say |
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| 42. It may not always be fun, but we’ve learned the importance of working through our conflicts |
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| 43. Even during disagreements, I can share my feelings and ideas with my spouse |
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| 44. We can hardly talk about anything important without getting into an argument |
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| 45. I am satisfied with our sex life |
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| 46. When resolving our disagreements, my spouse and I try to find a solution that we both feel great about. |
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| 47. If you just relax, many marital conflicts work themselves out or are solved through the passing of time |
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| 48. I am satisfied with the amount of verbal affection expressed in our marriage |
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| 49. We share with each other at least once a week what God is teaching us in our individual spiritual journey |
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| 50. My spouse and I have a lot of fun together |
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| 51. I am happy with the physical ways we demonstrate love for each other |
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| 52. At times I lose interest in the marriage or feel indifferent towards my spouse |
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| 53. I tell my spouse what I want and need |
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| 54. I forgive my spouse even if he/she hasn’t asked to be forgiven |
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| 55. I am afraid of my anger |
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| 56. Our marriage is healthier because of our involvement in our church |
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| 57. My spouse cares about and values my feelings |
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| 58. Sometimes it seems we are roommates rather than a married couple |
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